World Football
When Kai Havertz chipped that ball off Ederson’s hands and it rolled into the net, I had never felt such pure joy in my life. Forget about relief or any of that poetic nonsense, this was JOY! We were winning the Champions League abeggg. Forget about the extra 45 minutes and Pep being the greatest tactician in the world, the God of twitter user @CFCDUBois and that 2012 thread was going to prevail!
At least that’s what I can say now but I’m sure in the moment I was terrified. I had had a dream the night before (like every other Chelsea fan in the world) that we were going to win this by 2 goals to 1. That dream left me with even more anxiety than before. Pep was on YouTube analysing my team down to the metres of space between each player, how can a stupid dream put me at peace?
As I ate my breakfast of bread and tea, I was shaking. The odds were stacked against us. The entire week had felt like counting down to my pain but I will admit seeing so many of our legends sending luck and posting videos and pictures of them in our jerseys did put me at ease for a while. Seeing Costa smile in a Chelsea jersey again almost brought tears to my eyes.
My anxiety really came down when I saw the lineups. It was time to put all my faith in Tuchel. And God, of course. How I go forget you, Bros J? Wait, Pep didn’t start a DM? No Rodri? I was too nervous to laugh or make jokes because it’s when you laugh that your enemies strike. Let me not.
15 minutes into the game, I was confident. This was the futbol Okocha used to play that year now! Until Werner missed 2 chances in a row and my nerves went to shit again. How you go lag for UCL Final for God’s sake??? 42’ GOAL!!!! KAIII MY BOY! GOD IS GOOD O! I truly believe that was the peak of my life. Yes, we’ve won before but this is recent please, don’t stress me! At halftime, I went to the group chat and sent the usual “There’s 45 minutes left man, not celebrating yet. Anything can happen” lamba. Just incase *winks*.
Second half started and Pep still didn’t bring on a DM? We are winning this. After a long series of events; KDB injury, Fernandinho and Pulisic coming on, Aguero coming on to cause havoc and THAT Mahrez chance, we actually won! I had already lost my voice from the goal so I couldn’t even shout! I added the trophy emoji to my display name, of course, before any TL banter could begin. And trust me, it was good banter. I ate chicken and went to bed. Best night of my life. I promise.
Special shoutout goes to N’golo Kante, Mason Mount, Reece James and Kai Havertz for preserving my dignity in the streets. You will never lack.

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