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Tea Time With Tolu

Love or Lust: How To Know When You Are In Love

After having conversations with a number of young Nigerians in love, it is safe to assume that most of us have no idea what we’re doing when it comes to matters of the heart. According to some of our lovebirds, they find the information provided by blogs and journals irrelevant nonsense, but that doesn’t mean their search for answers stop. Here are some of the conversations we had along with hot takes, so grab a pen and paper because you may need to jot fings down.

Love or Lust How Do You Know?
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Love. Before any argument starts, let’s have a general agreement as to what love is. We go to Merriam Webster dictionary for answers

1. strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties
maternal love for a child

2. attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers
After all these years, they are still very much in love.

3. affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
love for his old schoolmates

It is getting complex abi? Sorry. Let’s get back to our people.

We asked Why Did You Think It Was Love?

Anu
“He was always on my mind. I realized it was Impossible to go 5 minutes without thoughts of him coming up, it was beautiful yet daunting.”

Hot take: Errrr Anu, it appears we have a problem. What was the energy from his end like? Because, if we were thinking of buying him a PS5 with nothing solid then we thank God for your life.

“I literally found myself craving her, and I don’t mean physically, I can’t get enough of her when she’s here and I crave her like an addiction when she’s away.”

Collins
“When I thought about my future, I couldn’t imagine it without her. Moving into my new home, getting that contract and having kids were unimaginable without her. ”

Hot take: Whew! Bro.

Funmilayo
“I just loved having him around.”

Hot take: Ehen? And?

Busayo
“I literally found myself craving her, and I don’t mean physically, I can’t get enough of her when she’s here and I crave her like an addiction when she’s away.”

Hot take: In the words of Bob Marley, Is this love is this is this love or Jaaruma ….

Boma
“I was literally willing do anything to impress her and make her happy”

Nelson
“I knew I was in love, after I realized I couldn’t stand other guys making her laugh.”

Nnenna
“He has such a beautiful soul, he is so kind, generous, loving. It’s the whole works”

Hot take: Emotional needs are being met, you sound happy, he seems great, it hasn’t ended in tears, do we hear wedding bells?

A group of Individuals
“I just know I love them”

If you read all of this hoping for answers regarding matters of the heart, we are sorry to disappoint, if these conversations have taught us anything, it is that no one can tell you exactly how you feel.

Only time will tell if you’re really in love or you have a special package curated with your name.

Perhaps, some of the aforementioned are characteristic of the emotions you feel when in love, however, none of these is the true foundation from where it stems from.

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