Tea Time

For the next month, Tea Time will be exploring and sharing some of the most obscene experiences of Men and women trying to navigate the dating scene in Lagos, from boardroom hookups to Two-day old proposals, when it comes to the men and women of Lagos, expect the unexpected.

We spoke to a 33-year-old Engineer at a multinational firm in Lagos who dated a 26-year-old woman he met on Instagram. According to him, she was way out his league and he simply couldn’t fathom why she even replied his DM. After weeks of dating, she revealed she was in a serious relationship with another man but hoping for a miracle, he happily accepted the role of the other man in her life.

So First Off When and How Did You Guys Meet?

Sometime in 2018 I was scrolling through Instagram and came across her page. It was during one of those “shoot your shot” movements online, I wasn’t expecting a reply.


If You Don’t Mind Me Asking, What Exactly Did You Say?
Nothing serious, just told her I thought she was beautiful and would love to pay her bills.


When Did You Find Out She had Another Boyfriend?
Funny thing is I would’ve never known, She told me herself.
Our relationship started casual, you know just sex meetups, then along the line, we started spending a lot of time together and catching real feelings. I think she felt guilty.


What was the Deal with the Boyfriend?
He is an expatriate living in Lagos. Oh, and did I mention that he is married.


“The side dude is an additional guy who is neither a boyfriend nor husband.” 


Wow, the whole thing sounds messy.
It was honestly, especially because of the sneaking around. She was certain that if we were ever caught this man was going to mess me up.
There was a time we only met in Hotels.


Why Did You Choose To Stay?
If you meet her you’d understand, plus she genuinely has a good heart.


I’m Curious, How Did Your Friends Feel About This Relationship
So I never really went into details to my friends about the dynamics of our relationship, I knew what they’d say and at that time I didn’t want to hear it. Plus they were all just happy I wasn’t single, they used to joke about us getting married.


Do They Know Now?
I’m not sure, to be honest.


You Mentioned Jokes About Marriage, Did The Thought Ever Cross Your Mind?
On marriage? Multiple times. The thing is we never really spoke about her boyfriend after the first conversation because it made our conversations tense. That aside we were really happy.


Do you Have Any Idea Why She Didn’t Break Up With Her Boyfriend?
As I said, it was complicated. She’d been with him for years; he was on the verge of divorcing his wife for her and boom I came into the picture.


Are You Guys Still Together?


After a while, things got weird.


How so?
We were both freaky people sexually, but as we got closer, she wanted me to do some really weird stuff that I wasn’t cut out for.


Like BDSM?
This was way past BDSM oh.


“She was certain that if we were ever caught this man was going to mess me up. There was a time we only met in Hotels.”



Now I’m Curious, How Freaky are we Talking Here

She wanted me to poo and pee on her, I knew it was a thing but it’s just not a thing I’ll be into.  I even thought she was joking until the last time we had sex and she was waiting for me to drop one on her.


So It’s Safe to Say this Was The Deal Breaker
I suppose so.


Do You Still Talk to Her?
Lagos is smaller than most people think, so even though we don’t talk, we see at events and have to be cordial. Our circles are pretty similar.


What About The Boyfriend
I think he’s still in the picture, I can’t say.


Any Regrets
Sighs* Not that the relationship happened sha.


What’s Your Current Relationship Status?
Dating in Lagos is tiring, it took me about three months to be open to it again. I’m currently seeing someone, it’s pretty serious, and we also met on Instagram so fingers crossed.

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