a Few Things, Tea Time

It’s so sad and quite unfortunate that in the 21st Century we are still dealing with rape as a predominant issue in the society. Despite the fact that rape has always been an obvious elephant in the room, society still finds it hard to address and the reason for this is basically the fact that it is seen a s a forbidden topic.

However, things have changed and we will no longer keep mute on the things that matter all because society has deemed it forbidden and as such in this article we are going to be talking about ways to put an end to the rape culture

Do Not Be A Rapist

First of let’s be clear on what rape is. Pursuant to the Criminal Code of Nigeria, rape is when any person has sexual intercourse with a woman or girl, without her consent, or incorrectly obtained consent. Consent can be incorrectly obtained where it is obtained by force/threat/intimidation, by means of false and fraudulent representation as to the nature of the act. Also the criminal code provides that sexual intercourse with under aged girls or people with unsound mind is the offence of defilement, and so technically a person could be charged for rape and defilement.

Now that we have clarified the position of the law on the meaning of rape, it goes without saying that non consensual sex equals rape, silence is NOT consent and as such should not be used as an excuse, a woman’s choice of dressing is not an invitation to rape, being passed out is not consent, maybe is not consent!!, being in a relationship is not consent!. Only “yes” obtained voluntarily, consciously, mutually and without any form of distress or pressure can be said to be consent.

sexual offenders should be brought to book; they should not be allowed to roam the streets freely.

According to Wikipedia, Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without that person’s consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority, or against a person who is incapable of giving valid consent, such as one who is unconscious, incapacitated, has an intellectual disability or is below the legal age of consent. The term rape is sometimes used interchangeably with the term sexual assault.

Do Not Be A Rape Apologist

Who is a rape apologist? A person who defends acts of rape, usually by claiming that rape is not a serious crime or that people do not need to give consent to sex or a person, someone who defends rapist with full knowledge of the crimes they have committed, someone who claims a victim of rape is the one at fault for an assault, most commonly using lame excuses such as “they shouldn’t have been dressed so revealingly” “but men get raped too” etc.

Related: The Power of Social Media in Addressing Sexual Violence

Under no circumstance should a rapist or the act of sexual assault be defended, it is a heinous crime and no one should get away with it. Once a person starts coming up with excuses, defending a rapist or even going as far as blaming the survivor o the act then such person is a rape apologist. When women are talking about their experiences, keep quiet, listen, empathize with them and use your voice to stand against rape.

…silence is NOT consent and as such should not be used as an excuse…

Reformation Of The Justice System

The sexual offenders should be brought to book; they should not be allowed to roam the streets freely. Nigeria has a very low conviction rate as opposed to the high level of the rape cases and it is about time the criminal justice system awake from their slumber and the legislators make provision for sterner punishments.

As a society we have to do better, rapists and sexual offenders should be ostracized, the “victim blaming “culture should be done with, it takes a lot of gut and strength to speak up about sexual assault. As such perpetrators should be held responsible. Rape should not be a forbidden topic, it is our responsibility to speak against it, and spread and raise awareness. Remember, five minutes of unpleasant pleasure will cause her a life of depression, anxiety, and trust issues for a selfish act. If you cannot protect her ,don’t be a source of her problem

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